Of Dreams and Turtles
by CrazyNutSquirrel
Summary: A collection of four oneshots revolving around the TMNT and their dreams. Two currently written. Rated T for safety.
1. Of Cowboys and Ducks

Dust swirled along the path at the center of the little town, and all was unnaturally quiet. That is, it was quiet until he rode into town. His duck waddled, which meant that the ride wasn't exactly steady, but hey! It worked, so who cared? Keddly quacked, and he nodded solemnly. Cowboys stereotypically went to bars. However, this town was famous for having its inhabitants head over to a certain fruit stand, rather than a bar. However, what he'd heard about the fruit stand was highly suspicious. Keddly agreed. Keddly, in case you hadn't noticed, was a mobile rubber duck. Or a duck that looked like a rubber duck. Or something.

Keddly then decided that he didn't like the narrator, and sat down in the middle of the road. Luckily, the fruit stand was right there, so no harm done. At least, no harm done until the fruit stand person whipped out a gun and fired. "No! You killed Keddly you jerk!" He whipped out his magnifying glass, then a pipe, then finally his gun. "Say your prayers you disciple of Satan!"

XxXxX

Someone shook him, and he flew upright and gripped the tails of their bandanna. "HURT KEDDLY AND YOU DIE!" he shrieked.

"Um... dude? Who's Keddly?" Don's face went bright red with embarrassment.

"N-no one," he stammered, backing off.

"Oh no dude, that won't work. Who killed Keddly by the way?"

"The fruit stand guy," muttered Don.

"Who's Keddly, and who were you in the dream? Deadpool?"

"No," said Don, having no idea who Deadpool was. "I was a- a detective cowboy," said Don, looking utterly embarrassed.

"And?"

"Keddly was a mobile rubber duck." Mikey stared at Don for a moment, then burst out laughing. Soon, the orange-masked brother was on the ground, rolling around with tears of mirth rolling down his cheeks.

"Dude! Are you serious?"

"Yes! PLEASE don't tell Raph and Leo!" Don's face had anxiety practically carved into it.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Don should have known that the smile on Mikey's face said otherwise, but he'd just woken up, cut him some slack.

XxXxX

Leo frowned. "Where's Donnie, Mikey?"

"Oh he's up, he was just having a dream."

"Of what?" asked Raph.

"Come closer, grasshopper, and all shall be revealed..."

XxXxX

Don did not like the smirk on Raph's face. "G'mornin Don. Where's Cuddly?"

"Keddly," he corrected automatically. As Mikey burst out laughing again, Raph grinned.

"You were right, Mikey."

"I'LL KILL YOU MIKEY!" Don yelled, grabbing his staff. Mikey screamed and ran.

"Don should really set his alarm next time," said Leo.

"You're tellin' me," said Raph, glad that Mikey had never managed to catch him muttering about HIS dreams. Swishy the goldfish was still safe, thank goodness.


	2. Of Hotheads and Dresses

Don grinned maniacally to himself as he added the finishing touches to his machine. He was visibly vibrating from either over-caffeination, or sheer excitement. He didn't often have to get back at Mikey, but when he did the results were spectacular. Sitting down, he admired his machine. A dream recorder. It was an absolutely genius invention, which he'd have to be careful to lock away where his brothers couldn't find it. They did NOT need to know what he and Keddly did in their spare time.

Giggling like a madman, he set everything up so it would target Mikey's dreams and project them onto the wall for him to watch with headphones on. Pressing the button, he sat and waited.

XxXxX

Raph was not particularly pleased right now. Swishy had decided that tonight, their ultimate mission was to cross dress and have a tea party with their worst enemies. And even worse, the Shredder came with friggin' MAKEUP on. And he was wearing a brain-frying shade of pink. "Isn't this awesome?" asked Swishy.

"No, I want to kick ass, not have a tea party while in a stupid princess dress!"

"Oh come on Raph, we all know you secretly like it," said Swishy.

"No I don't. Whatever gave you the stupid idea I would?" Swishy shook his head and tutted.

"Oh come Raph, you can't fool me! Oh look! Santa and the Easter Bunny could make it!"

"You didn't at least invite the Grim Reaper?"

"No! He has a horrible tendency to talk about horrifying things at the table!" Raph grumbled, but then started scowling as the two new arrivals walked over.

"Have you been a good boy this year, Raph?" asked Santa. The turtle's eye twitched.

"No, I've been beating up other people."

"Ah but you've been beating up bad people!" said the Easter Bunny. "Samson the unicorn told me! He's been keeping an eye on you whenever he can." Raph growled.

"I HATE unicorns." Santa laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

"Oh come, we know that's not true. Why else would you have unicorn books at home?"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?"

"Oh look Santa, there's fairy cupcakes!" Soon, everyone was crowded around the fairy cupcake table as Raph started tearing off his dress.

"Raph! It's inappropriate to strip in public!"

"SHUT YOUR GILLS! Why couldn't we have done something fun tonight?"

"'Cause tonight is MY night. We went brother saving last night, and I missed my previous night because of that stupid nightmare you had."

"Trust me, this is worse than any of those," Raph muttered, kicking off the awful high heels. "Seriously Swishy, we used to have FUN."

"Yeah, when you still believed in the Tooth Fairy. Poor dear has been sobbing her eyes out since you decided she wasn't real."

"SHUT UP!"

XxXxX

Don stared at the projection. Okay so he obviously wasn't seeing Mikey's dreams. That much was certain. But how in the world had he tuned into Raph's? Grinning, Don rewound the dream and started taking screenshots. Raph had been teasing him mercilessly, so why not get back at him first to make Mikey think he'd been spared? Seeing an image where Raph had a parasol sent him into a fit of silent giggles. Oh he SO knew what he'd be doing with these.

XxXxX

When Raph woke up, he woke up in a bad mode. Damn Swishy's change in personality over the years. And who the hell was laughing outside his room? Getting up, he stalked over to the door. 'You sure you wanna come out today?' was written on the back. Raph raised an eyebrow. What was THAT supposed to mean?

Opening the door, he was greeted with the sight of two of his brothers laughing, and one staring at his door, slack jawed. Glancing at it, Raph's eyes widened. Him with the parasol. His eyes darted around the lair, seeing equally, if not more, embarrassing pictures around the lair. And one was in- he paled. Master Splinter held one. The old rat looked up at him. "Good morning my son. I was not aware you liked to dress up like this. But perhaps, next time, you can dress up in clothes a MAN would dress in." This sent Don and Mikey into further hysterical laughter and Leo started chuckling. Raph could feel a headache coming on, so he stormed out of the lair. Maybe he could go beat up some Purple Dragons. Don grinned evilly.

"You didn't..." said Leo, looking horrified and amused at the same time.

"Oh I did," said Don. Casey, April, and their enemies all had photos from Raph's dream. Poor Raph was SERIOUSLY in for it. And a couple hundred bugs were also now finding their way into the red-masked turtle's room.


End file.
